I'm not sure anyone will read this but I just, well it's for me as much as anyone else. I wanted to document making my first feature. It's a strange experience, it's not exactly how you imagine it to be because, well I'm doing everything myself.

I wrote the script back in 2000 when I was at college and decided to make it last year when I was asked to make something for my friend's (Martin) Film Festival (Deep Fried Film Festival). So I advetised for actors and crew on Mandy.com and the local Metro newspaper and got my girlfriend to put an email round her University. We contacted the Uni (Glasgow University) about holding auditions there after Kontakt Studios said we couldnt use their office at weekends. I contacted locations, some easy and some not. For instance, HMV said yes right away. The Glasgow Met College took awhile to reply. The bar we needed was originally Strathclyde Student Union and then they got all shitty about it and Scott (Cairns) was getting us The Big Joint but that fell through and at last minute we got Buffalo Joes.

So we held auditions and there was "Crazy Bob", this psycho guy shows up and says he can't get out of character, he's auditioning for "Johnny" and he has a hood up covering his face and I can smell drink on him and fuck he was just a nutter! He said he had this speech he wrote and we let him go and he just goes on a rant about the other characters, calling them "pubeless fucks!" and "spoonheid junkies!" and then he casually turns to camera and says, "Was that a bit over the top?". He threatened to throw a TV out the window if he didn't get the part. It was crazy but we got most of the cast there. Gareth (Hunter) who plays Johnny and David (Brailsford) who plays "Marc", had never really done anything before and male-wise they were the best there. Girl-wise we had too many good actors and not enough parts, we had Rachel (Gunn) who was excellent in her audition for both "Lynsay" and "Fiona/The Dame". But Jennifer (Byrne) was also great for the "Fiona/Dame" part and as she had helped write some of the dialogue, (the filthiest stuff I might add), which gave her an edge. So we had our Johnn, Marc, Lynsay and Fiona. We also had our "Ruth" in Catriona (McCaig) who just had the look and had never really done anything either. But we didnt have a Simon and more importantly didn't have a "Benny" or "David" and they have the biggest parts.

We ended up getting Tony (McGeever) in for Simon when I raked through the CV's I had been sent and he auditioned on the first day of rehearsals. We got Ross (Maxwell), who played "David". the same day when I had saw him in "Chips", a short film that an actress called Michelle Edwards had pointed me too for her audition. Benny we didn't get til the night before the final audition and he never got to rehearse, so he shows up on the first day and nails it, this is Chris (Somerville) who emailed me after a second advert I put out for actors when I was shitting myself about finding a Benny.

We all had a drink the weekend before shooting and what was meant to be a drink or two became this mammoth all day session, talking movies and scripts and shit and it was cool. Everyone seemed to get along right away and that could only be good.

We started shooting, first day was in HMV, we had 2 hours and I think we were almost thrown out after 1. The first scene with Tony, Ross and Rachel (Wisson) who had to fill in for my Step-Brother, Michael, in a small part I wrote for him. It's the scene all about Will Smith and Simon's rant. Then we moved on to the scene with David, Chris and Tony.The speech about Fantasia and Tony's lines include screaming out "faggot" and "fuck" and the customers were complaining about us, it was hilarious. I had to apologise the Team Leader and we sorta left in a hurry. Then we spent all afternoon in St. Enoch Square shooting the Bench scene with David and Lynsay which follows on to the Thundercats Movie speech and the love machine dance. We then went down the the river and shot the wedding flashback scenes and just before going on to the torture scene the sound kit fucks up and the battery on the phantom power unit packs in and we had to call it a day.