well hello there?

so what's happened since my last blog? well i spent 3 days in Dublin and it may as well have been Saigon considering how ill i was when i got back. JD is a hell of a guy but i can't keep up with that guy at drinking.

good news is he was interested in the script, though he hasn't finished it. he wants to come on board as a producer and financier. so the budget is there and the film has been cast. Catriona McCaig and Joy McAvoy have filled the last two roles. i had a nice xmas break and now i'm ready to begin rehearsals tomorrow. we are looking for locations and crew members and special fx houses. i've been checking out other horror movies and seeing how they do their fx and i'm about to start the fourth draft of the script. it now runs at 96 pages and i'm making some significant changes to the story and final 20 pages.

i plan to shoot a short teaser trailer in april for the flick and post it on our website, i'm also looking into getting a professional website set up for the company once it goes legit, I'm working on a logo for Hellacool Films, the genre branch of LIFE entertainment.

I'm also working on the 'Pondlife' DVD for the cast/crew/musicians. It now works out at 4 discs. special features include a making of, outtakes/deleted scenes, cast interviews, an alternate scene, cast auditions, audio commentary, video commentary, easter eggs and the original 45 minute version of Pondlife that i wrote in 1999. the cover and disc labels are being designed by Colin Ross Smith of Foghorn films and they look damn good. hopefully it'll be finished late January/early February. i designed some new wallpapers for 'Pondlife'.

meanwhile some offers of working on other projects are being mentioned and I plan to shoot 2-3 short films this year under the LIFE label.

until we speak again.

adios muchachos.

Well helloooo!

Hasn't it been awhile since I came on here and spoke to nobody. Well there is some news to tell.

Pondlife has been sent to The Comedy Unit and The Daily Record and I await correspondence from them both. Also the first fifteen minutes of the film will be shown at Cafe Flicker on the 6th of December '06 to raise interest in the film, as we are going to put on another screening in the New Year so we can raise funds for our next feature film.

Speaking of which, pre-production is starting on that. So far most of the cast are...well - cast! There are two parts left and I have it down to three people whom I hope to audition. There will be a read through just before Xmas with all of the cast, which so far includes Pondlife alumni, Jennifer Byrne, Ross Maxwell, Chris Somerville and Gareth Hunter, with Scott Kyle, Tony McGeever and David Brailsford making small but important appearances. I will also be playing a part myself (yeah it's a total abuse of power isn't it? Gotta love it!). But don't worry I will most likely die a horrible death in the first 3 minutes lol.

Crew-wise, we added a Producer in Layla Giovino, a real nice gal and someone who really knows her stuff and is on our wave-length with regards to this flick and many other favourite films we have in common. Colin Ross Smith should be our Editor unless his own projects get in the way and we plan to shoot on the Panasonic DVX100a which kicks glutimous maximus! (that ain't how you spell it is it? Shuttup Bobby, like you know everything! Bobby! I said be quiet!)

We aim to have all crew positions filled by February including finding an FX house to help us with the special effects in the film. All locations should be locked by March and costume and props too.

Rehearsals begin January and Make Up tests/FX Tests in March/April. We want to be ready to go by May and waiting to shoot so when June comes we are ready.

I've also been thinking of some spin-offs from Pondlife and I'm interested in doing some. Namely a spoof trailer for two pilot tv shows.

1) Johnny & The Dame: Detective Agency - "He's a burnt out college dropout and she's a woman in a man's coat. Together they're - pretty useless."

2) Quantum Hoff/ClydeWatch - Benny is Son of Hoff, leaping back through time to make his father do the right thing at different periods in his life.

He's also a rookie Lifeguard at the Clyde, saving bums and bicycles from the murky waters.

I also am interested in spin -off movies:

1) Johnny D and the Battle for Earth! - Johnny can't defeat the Evil Killer Tripods alone and when he discovers they have battled for Centuries with the Janitor Clones led by Benny's Uncle, he joins forces to take the tripods down and may even rescue his old friend Marc on the way.

2) Oliver/Twist - It'd be interesting to do a re-make of Oliver Twist in john Woo style.

Anyway, I also finished helping out Colin Ross Smith on his latest short film "Sandwich", starring Robert Harrison, Chris Somerville, Joe Cassidy, Scott Kyle and Gareth Hunter and many other actors whose full names I can't remember at this point in time. Working on "Sandwich" was a lot fof fun, the cast and crew were a good bunch and it was a good craic! As usual it was used as an excuse for a drink with Somerville and Hunter. I even got to be an extra (I have a new found respect for extras now). Can't wait to see it finished and you should keep a look out for it and any projects starring the fine cast that was involved.

I'm off to Ireland tomorrow to see JD, an old family friend and present The Bench script to him to see what he thinks and if he wants to come aboard as a Producer/Investor/Head Grip. So wish me luck and may the farce be with you!

Nanoo-nanoo.

Sean

wow its been august since I crawled into this space and spilled my thoughts.

I have thunk a lot recently and i guess itll all spill out here so excuse me if I ramble or talk crap but hey this is my time! my time!

Good now that you're all gone I can talk. The Premiere went well, the day just flew by, there was a great turn out, an amazing applause that still makes me tingly and the reaction was great, I havent heard a bad opinion of it yet. Sure there were some things that need fixed or can't be fixed but this was my first feature film and we did everything ourselves (the cast and crew that is not me and my imaginary friend. You don't do heavy work do you Bobby? Do you?!? Layabout!) So I think we did pretty well and I'm hella proud of everyone involved, what a talented bunch. I noticed things at the screening I wasn't even aware of like how Ross (intentionally or unintentionally) takes David (lead male and straight character of the movie) and gives him a subtle progression. At the beginning he's moody but cocky and cheeky towards Benny. By the time he sits on the bench with Lynsay he's melancholy and subdued. At the canteen table he's about to give up and then he seems to get a bit of swagger back about him and grow a pair. Or maybe I wrote it that way and never noticed. Then there is Chris, who took a whiny, know-it-all farmers boy and turned that character into the retarded bastard step child of Lloyd Christmas and I can't watch that guy without laughing now, he stole the show for me. Big Gareth with his L'oreal moments and his effortless cool. David with his quest for knowledge and search for the inner Marc. Tony playing a perfect homo-phobe! Cat playing Cat. Rachel playing sweet and tempting, Scott's ever expanding role and Jennifer playing dual roles and getting that broad down note-perfect. Not to mention Big Fat Toni and Her sexy dancer who people can't get enough of. I mean this movie has it all, hot girls, good looking guys, killer tripods, cowboys, 100 year old cameras, gangsters, love triangles, slow-motion, pigeons, musical numbers, dark alleyways, girl's in guy's coats, a "ka", a fat man you never see, a three line joke that we kick the arse out of, the a-team, thundercats, airwolf, will smith, a bugs life, baywatch, knight rider, the hoff, milk, mail fraud, evil janitors, chloroform, talking to yourself, homo-phobic rants, politically un-correct at every turn, lesbian pole-dancers, my mum. God it's like Clerks on crack but tasty.

And if you don't wanna see it after that you better check your pulse cos Im coming at ya with a sledgehammer and I want you distracted!

So for your pleasure I give you an idea I had today for a potential sequel. See if this takes off and Im famous Im gonna need to cash in a few years down the line when I get my first stinker and my career hits the shits so I'll pull out this one "Pondlife: Take 2".

Set 10 years later (yes, like Clerks 2, what do you want a badge?" Imagine, David, Johnny, Benny et al working on or hanging around the set of KNIGHT RIDER: THE MOVIE. Cue cameo from The Hoff. I reckon by now Ruth is in porn and Simon is Will Smith's PA/Gay lover (yeah I never saw it coming either). Marc still hasnt been found in fact they're making a movie about it across the lot lol. So things would happen, don't wanna give it away but this little exchange might take place, I thought it up today, so sue me if it sucks you can bite my ass! ;)

EXT. LOT - KNIGHT RIDER THE MOVIE - STUDIO 2, DAY.

Standing against the wall are our favourite guys. Johnny, DAvid and Benny. They are in mid conversation.

BEnny: So, David I heard you and Kay were pretty close at the party last night?

David: You just started the day, how'd you know that?

BEnny: News travels fast.

DAvid: Aye well travel it slower eh. We were getting along fine and then it all went to bloody pot!

Johnny: That happened to me once.

Benny: What you were getting off with a mega famous actress, starring in your movie in the middle of a club full of famous people and you made an arse of yourself?

Johnny: No, I was with a girl. We were getting a bit steamy. My tongue was in her throat, my hand in her delicates and I'm whistling "take me home country roads all the way fuckmeville. Then we hit a brick wall.

David Figuratively?

Johnny: No, we actually hit a brick wall, I was driving her Dad's Merc at the time.

THey both pull an "ouch face!"

Johnny: Word of warning, when you are getting it on wi a bird and you crash into a brick wall don't ask why she stopped.

BEnny: Anyway listen to you!

David: What?

Benny: Figuratively? Where'd you get these big bloody words?!

David: It's called a Dictionary Benny, look it up.

Benny: In what?

David: What?

BEnny: Well I mean, is the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?

David: What the fuck are you on about?

Benny: I said is the word dictionary in the dictionary? and if it is, is there a picture of a dictionary next to it?

David: benny fuck off!

Johnny: No hold on, Benny may actually have a point. I mean if you had to actually look up the meaning of the word dictionary and you used a dictionary to do so wouldn't that defeat the purpose?

David looks at them both, his whole world may have turned upside down if benny has this one right.

Scene.

So it's not the best but what do you want for nothing. let me know what you think either here or on the board.

See ya.

Long time no write and get no reply.

Anyway, the film is still in Post. The Screening is booked for the 21st September, with an aftershow party afterwards at Over The Road. Also Garf and I will play an acoustic set at the party under the name DONKEY PUNCH but fear not as we are not the main attraction. That place goes to Glasgow band QUINN.

Yeah you all know this, why am I here?

Well the Director of BRICK, Rian Johnson, was on our website and would love to see the film if he was in Glasgow lol. Also had THE Emma Rugg on the site, calm down David.

And we are waiting to see if we will be used in the games section of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. That'd be cool. Anyway keep it real homies.

Chow

Rockstar is back!!! Woohoo!

For anyone who didn't watch Rockstar: INXS last year. It was the shit! It kicks ass of all crappy talent shows like American Idol and The X Factor. Anyway it's back on. This time it's Rockstar: Supernova. Tommy Lee (Drums, Motley Crue), Jason Newsted (Bassist, Metallica) and Gilby Clark (Guitar, Guns 'n' Roses) have come together to find a singer for their new band; Supernova. Dave Navarro and Brooke Burke present. Sky One. Monday & Tuesday at 9pm. Watch it! It rocks!

As a side note it rocked so much last year that as a previously not bothered about INXS guy. I just (or Jen just) purchased two tickets to see INXS play the Glasgow Barrowlands in November. I'm also hoping to see the Goo Goo Dolls in September but they're playing Carling Academy (A.K.A: The worst venue ever).

Anyway, I have been re-decorating my room. Got a new carpet and everything and as a result I am getting a new PC table which is a corner one so i need to get an LCD monitor which means while my PC is out of commission I can't edit! Still hopeful of a September Premiere.

I'm also hoping to go back to school. Paisley Uni have some places left in clearance for their Cinema degree and if I take my "Freelance Skills" module before term starts (to complete my HND). Then I can skip to 3rd year. Yeeha!

I've done some more work on the website, which I hope to make a lot better. www.pondlife.moonfruit.com and I have a contact for a Stills Photographer who may be able to do our publicity stills. Also have some interest from Propeller TV, a SKY cable channel for Independent film. So that's all cool.

To keep up to date with our wonderful cast, we had a few drinks last week. Just myself, Jen B, Gareth, Catriona, Scott and David. It was good seeing the guys again. The discussion generally being about films, holidays, funding for "The Vampire Movie" and the thousands of promotional ideas Scott has.

The cast it would seem, have been busy. To the best of my knowledge...

Ross is busy working away and had an audition for "River City" recently.

Gareth can be found at the bottom of a bottle of rum on Isla de Muerte. Only kidding. He's working away and keeping his hair long for re-shoots. And has been busy writing material.

Chris has been the busiest of all. He's starred in a music video for "The Dykeenies", been in the T in the Park commercial, been to T in the Park (lol). Got the lead part in "The Journey" and "Night Is Day" ( a film and Series respectively, which are the project of another Scottish Director Fraser Coull. And funnily enough Ross was previously playing both of those parts. What a small world.) He also auditioned for a part in a Channel 4: 3 Minute Wonder "Mashed".

David is still taking his acting classes and enjoying them and is just back from a Wedding in France (Not his).

Catriona, I think is in Canada with her family just now.

Jen has joined United Casting and has since had auditons for Channel 4: 3 minute wonder "Mashed" and a part as an extra in "Rebus" (although it was postponed) and she also enquired about auditioning for "Night Is Day". She's also been in a lesbian film. Kidding, she played a lesbian in an educational film for Schools and stuff about sexuality and coming out and stuff. I think it might have been NHS funded but don't quote me on that.

Rachel G was just away in Nice for a few days. She's also in the new STV advert, she's on an excercise bike handing over a big "S". I just saw it last night.

Scott is going to be in a production of "Passing Places" in September in East Kilbride and is getting a business setup for his own production.

Shona is in LA working for her Uncle.

And Tony is actually alive! Tony McGeever or "heart-attack Tony" who we haven't seen or heard from since the last day of shooting, when he had just got out of hospital with chest pains. He wasn't at the wrap party or the drinks we had shortly after and all attempts to reach him have failed and then casual as you like he emails me and asks how America was. What a guy! Lol.

I was just thinking. Since March, which is 5 months away almost, me and Jen have made a feature film, travelled across America and painted a room (the latter being the hardest). That's a lot for 3 months. Even years always hold so much for me.

Anyway. Farewell and Adieu.

So what have I been doing since our return?

The answer: Trying to find a way back!

I love Scotland but honestly, even with all the idiots and the expensive antibiotics, America kicks ass. Nice weather, in general the people are so nice to you, no neds, all the kids hanging about in New York for example, probably holligans but they don't say a word to you as you walk by, they just get on with their thing. Nobody coming up to you asking for a chip or they'll stookie you. Even the homeless are straightforward they just look at you and say "hey, gimme a dollar man!". Maybe it was just the open road though, I swear there is no feeling in this world like it, that I have experienced. I feel like part of me has been missing since I got back (that'll be Frankie). it's so amazing the freedom you feel just driving down the highway all day, the beautiful sunsets and scenery and the feeling that you don't know where you are gonna stay that night, it could be anywhere, eating in diners, pulling in at gas stations for snacks, no work, no bills, no worries. It's..."hakuna mutata" lol.

Anyway work sucks and I found out our contract ends at end of July so I need a new job. But Jen saw an ad for Paisley Uni, who still have spaces on their Cinema course and Im gonna apply to finish my degree there and then me and Jen can hopefully graduate at the same time and then look into going to New York to stay. I haven't done any editing to the film as Im waiting to have a good wage so I can get a bigger hard drive to fit all the footage on.

Seen "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" last week, what a film, can't wait til the next one now. Also saw "Thankyou for Smoking" which is quite funny and has not a bad cast (Aaron Eckhart, William H Macy, Maria Bello, Robert Duvall, 'the guy that plase JJ Jameson in Spiderman', Katie Holmes) and other dudes I cant remember. Been chilling this week trying to catch up on the jet lag. Watched a documentary on the "Clerks" DVD about the whole film fro,m concept to distribution, it was quite cool and really inspired me with Pondlife. Also watched all the extras on "Mallrats" and a lot of interesting documentaries on the "Usual Suspects" DVD, what a film.

"And like that...he's gone".

America Part 2:

Day 7:

To be honest I don't remember a lot about this day, it was a Thursday. We drove from Memphis through Little Rock and Texarkana in Arknsas and stayed over at the Royal Inn, just outside Dallas, Texas. I do remember that we called a Domino's Pizza and I was like "Yeah can I have chicken, sweetcorn and tomatoes on that?" and the guy goes "With the what now?" and I said "chicken" and long story short they dont do chicken or tomatoes as a topping and not that they dont do them but he said it like he was thinking "chicken! tomatoes! on a pizza?!? are you fucking out of your mind?!?" Weird.

Day 8 and 9:

We get totally lost looking for Ronnie's work once we get to Houston and the Dude is so cool he lets us crash on his futon for the 2 nights we stay, that was real sweet of him and Renee. We all went to dinner and to thank them me and Jen paid for it, it was good food. We crashed after watching Apollo 13 on tv and then the next day it was looking really thunderous and dark outside so I bought a cowboy hat and we stopped in a cinema to get out of the rain and we saw "The Break-Up" which was actually really good. So then we went outside and it's scorching hot! We went in the pool and then when Ronnie got home we went to Renee's work (a dessert cafe) cool! And then a crazy Irish bar with drunken fighting American Rugby players! I didn't even know Americans knew rugby existed. So then we went home and didn't wake up til like ten which is when we wanted to hit the road but it was hella raining outside. We got an Ihop breakfast (where you ask for an omelette and get a side order of 3 plate sized pancakes with it.) Then we hit the road and got caught in a sandstorm on our way to San Antonio. We then stopped in Fort Stockton, man it was hot.

Day 10:

OK, dickhead here gets caught not two minutes on the road this morning doing 101 in an 80 mph zone. Fined on the spot $150. Yeesh! Not a good start. We drove to El Paso and then onto Pheonix where we hear there are wild forest fires and oh yes we just made it to Phoenix after being almost empty and driving through the desert mountains in the pitch black of Arizona. It's 114 degrees out folks.

Day 11:

OK so we get breakfast at the Waffle House and head off to Vegas. We get lost a few times, which is pretty hard to do on a straight road in the desert! And we see the Hoover Dam. Then we check into our cool Vegas hotel and go down for dinner in a nice little Mexican restaurant, it's lovely but drinks in all the bars in the hotel are like $6 each and me and Jen spend about $60 on the slot machines and win $20 and spend that $20 on the slots, lol.

Day 12:

We get breakfast at a snooty Italian place and its not very nice. We walk the strip and go into the Bellagio and Ceasars Palace and it's boiling hot out there. We take a dip in the pool and get changed and have a nice lunch in the IRish bar and then later dinner and we go to Coyote Ugly, what a let down! Two girls who aint good lookin and some crowd members dancing in an empty bar!

Day 13 and 14

We head off and stop for breakfast at Coco's. Do NOT ever eat there, I start to feel quesy when we hit Barstow, California and not too good at Bakersfield and by Fresno I am ill as a dog and just dying to find a motel for the night, we do and I have a horrible night with food poisoning. NExt day aint much better but I soldier on as we drive to San Francisco and due to traffic we miss our boat to Alcatraz and the area our hostel is in is so dodgy, right now we just wanna give San Fran a miss. We end up stuck on the Bay Bridge and almost run out of gas in the hood of Oakland and then we decide just to go to the flicks as Im still not well and we see "Click" the new Adam Sandler movie, a great flick.

Day 15:

We leave San Fran behind and head down route 1, some beautiful scenery on the coast
we start looking for a motel and realise too late it's a saturday everywhere is booked and it's getting dark. Some woman who stole our room at a motel (she books a kingsize bed room for her mum and a twin bed room for her! What are they that fat they cant both sahre a twin room?) tells us about a little motel in Los Alamos. It's in the middle of the darkness but it's either there, or option 2: drive through the night and perhaps fall alseep and crash. option 3: go to cinema til it closes and sleep in car in carpark. We go to Los Alamos and the joke is it costs £99. Our most expensive and amy I say largets place to stay yet (what with a bathroom, kitchen, living room and bedroom) but it stinks. the bedroom is a bed with an old couch standing up against the wall and a sheet covering the window. the kitchen stinks and that fridge god knows what was in there. the bathroom window wont close and has no blinds. and the living room oh god dont start me, it was literally made of wood. we slept (if you call it that) with our clothes on, the light on and one eye open and we got up at like 6.30 and started driving as fast as we could. We also had to have a dinner from the gas station which was if I remember correctly, a muffin each, a fun size box of cereal, with a carton of milk, a large cup of cola, (juice for Jen), a bag of ritz biscuits and some crisps for Jen! Lol. It sounds horrible, it was but it just made the trip even better to be honest.

Day 16:

Jen felt sick after the "Bates Motel experience" and we skipped breakfast and drove, pulling over twice, once Jen felt sick and the second time she was sick! But that made her feel better and we headed to LA, playing "California" by Phantom Planet. You know, the one from "The O.C". We make LA and find our hostel. We see the Walk of fame and book tickets and the Mann's Chinese for Nacho Libre (OK movie). We go to Ralphs (if Wallmart is Asda, this is Kwik Save). We get Oreo's, Lucky Charms, Margharita mix, Pretzels and shit we can't get at home and buy a bag to take the shit home in.

Day 17:

WE had to take Frankie back today, (thats the car) I cried. Luckily they took it back and didn't ask for anymore money and we got the shuttle back. We book tickets to universal and Disneyland and spend a lotta time looking for a bank and we go to Hooters for dinner and drink in a great little bar called Mel's Diner where they made "American Graffiti". We get hooked on Ultimate Fighting Championship.

Day 18:

Universal Studios rocks! We go on the Van Helsing ride (pah!), The Terminator 3-D (cool), BAck to the Future (hellacool), JUrassic Park and the 80 foot waterfall drop (hellacool), The MUmmy Returns rollercoaster, Shrek 4-D, just way too much to say and the cool tour of War of the Worlds Set and stuff. We get a pizza for dinner and crash.

Day 19:

Disneyland is not as good as Universal, the rides are for kids I think. Pirates of the Caribbean is ok and Splash mountain is pretty cool but the queues are too long and the bites I have all over my body are itching and three on my leg have formed this red pancake so we go to the First Aid tent and they tell me to see a Doctor asap as it could cause blood poisoning! Yeesh! So we go home and go see Superman Returns in the Mann's Chinese. FUcking awesome!

Day 20:

We spend all day going to the hospital and gettting antibiotics that cost like $60 and kinda have a crappy last day. We realise theres no Planet Hollywood in Hollywood and the only celeb we saw was the blonde one who was in Beverly Hills 90210. We buy some souvenirs and go to Mel's Diner for a shake. Being me I buy Mallrats:10th Anniversary Edition and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang on DVD from Virgin (hey those versions aren't available in Scotland). We have dinner in the California Pizza place, I wasn't impressed.

Day 21:

We basically spend over 12 hours on two planes flying home and watch The Incredibles and King Kong. Now we are home and it sucks to be here!