America Part 2:

Day 7:

To be honest I don't remember a lot about this day, it was a Thursday. We drove from Memphis through Little Rock and Texarkana in Arknsas and stayed over at the Royal Inn, just outside Dallas, Texas. I do remember that we called a Domino's Pizza and I was like "Yeah can I have chicken, sweetcorn and tomatoes on that?" and the guy goes "With the what now?" and I said "chicken" and long story short they dont do chicken or tomatoes as a topping and not that they dont do them but he said it like he was thinking "chicken! tomatoes! on a pizza?!? are you fucking out of your mind?!?" Weird.

Day 8 and 9:

We get totally lost looking for Ronnie's work once we get to Houston and the Dude is so cool he lets us crash on his futon for the 2 nights we stay, that was real sweet of him and Renee. We all went to dinner and to thank them me and Jen paid for it, it was good food. We crashed after watching Apollo 13 on tv and then the next day it was looking really thunderous and dark outside so I bought a cowboy hat and we stopped in a cinema to get out of the rain and we saw "The Break-Up" which was actually really good. So then we went outside and it's scorching hot! We went in the pool and then when Ronnie got home we went to Renee's work (a dessert cafe) cool! And then a crazy Irish bar with drunken fighting American Rugby players! I didn't even know Americans knew rugby existed. So then we went home and didn't wake up til like ten which is when we wanted to hit the road but it was hella raining outside. We got an Ihop breakfast (where you ask for an omelette and get a side order of 3 plate sized pancakes with it.) Then we hit the road and got caught in a sandstorm on our way to San Antonio. We then stopped in Fort Stockton, man it was hot.

Day 10:

OK, dickhead here gets caught not two minutes on the road this morning doing 101 in an 80 mph zone. Fined on the spot $150. Yeesh! Not a good start. We drove to El Paso and then onto Pheonix where we hear there are wild forest fires and oh yes we just made it to Phoenix after being almost empty and driving through the desert mountains in the pitch black of Arizona. It's 114 degrees out folks.

Day 11:

OK so we get breakfast at the Waffle House and head off to Vegas. We get lost a few times, which is pretty hard to do on a straight road in the desert! And we see the Hoover Dam. Then we check into our cool Vegas hotel and go down for dinner in a nice little Mexican restaurant, it's lovely but drinks in all the bars in the hotel are like $6 each and me and Jen spend about $60 on the slot machines and win $20 and spend that $20 on the slots, lol.

Day 12:

We get breakfast at a snooty Italian place and its not very nice. We walk the strip and go into the Bellagio and Ceasars Palace and it's boiling hot out there. We take a dip in the pool and get changed and have a nice lunch in the IRish bar and then later dinner and we go to Coyote Ugly, what a let down! Two girls who aint good lookin and some crowd members dancing in an empty bar!

Day 13 and 14

We head off and stop for breakfast at Coco's. Do NOT ever eat there, I start to feel quesy when we hit Barstow, California and not too good at Bakersfield and by Fresno I am ill as a dog and just dying to find a motel for the night, we do and I have a horrible night with food poisoning. NExt day aint much better but I soldier on as we drive to San Francisco and due to traffic we miss our boat to Alcatraz and the area our hostel is in is so dodgy, right now we just wanna give San Fran a miss. We end up stuck on the Bay Bridge and almost run out of gas in the hood of Oakland and then we decide just to go to the flicks as Im still not well and we see "Click" the new Adam Sandler movie, a great flick.

Day 15:

We leave San Fran behind and head down route 1, some beautiful scenery on the coast
we start looking for a motel and realise too late it's a saturday everywhere is booked and it's getting dark. Some woman who stole our room at a motel (she books a kingsize bed room for her mum and a twin bed room for her! What are they that fat they cant both sahre a twin room?) tells us about a little motel in Los Alamos. It's in the middle of the darkness but it's either there, or option 2: drive through the night and perhaps fall alseep and crash. option 3: go to cinema til it closes and sleep in car in carpark. We go to Los Alamos and the joke is it costs £99. Our most expensive and amy I say largets place to stay yet (what with a bathroom, kitchen, living room and bedroom) but it stinks. the bedroom is a bed with an old couch standing up against the wall and a sheet covering the window. the kitchen stinks and that fridge god knows what was in there. the bathroom window wont close and has no blinds. and the living room oh god dont start me, it was literally made of wood. we slept (if you call it that) with our clothes on, the light on and one eye open and we got up at like 6.30 and started driving as fast as we could. We also had to have a dinner from the gas station which was if I remember correctly, a muffin each, a fun size box of cereal, with a carton of milk, a large cup of cola, (juice for Jen), a bag of ritz biscuits and some crisps for Jen! Lol. It sounds horrible, it was but it just made the trip even better to be honest.

Day 16:

Jen felt sick after the "Bates Motel experience" and we skipped breakfast and drove, pulling over twice, once Jen felt sick and the second time she was sick! But that made her feel better and we headed to LA, playing "California" by Phantom Planet. You know, the one from "The O.C". We make LA and find our hostel. We see the Walk of fame and book tickets and the Mann's Chinese for Nacho Libre (OK movie). We go to Ralphs (if Wallmart is Asda, this is Kwik Save). We get Oreo's, Lucky Charms, Margharita mix, Pretzels and shit we can't get at home and buy a bag to take the shit home in.

Day 17:

WE had to take Frankie back today, (thats the car) I cried. Luckily they took it back and didn't ask for anymore money and we got the shuttle back. We book tickets to universal and Disneyland and spend a lotta time looking for a bank and we go to Hooters for dinner and drink in a great little bar called Mel's Diner where they made "American Graffiti". We get hooked on Ultimate Fighting Championship.

Day 18:

Universal Studios rocks! We go on the Van Helsing ride (pah!), The Terminator 3-D (cool), BAck to the Future (hellacool), JUrassic Park and the 80 foot waterfall drop (hellacool), The MUmmy Returns rollercoaster, Shrek 4-D, just way too much to say and the cool tour of War of the Worlds Set and stuff. We get a pizza for dinner and crash.

Day 19:

Disneyland is not as good as Universal, the rides are for kids I think. Pirates of the Caribbean is ok and Splash mountain is pretty cool but the queues are too long and the bites I have all over my body are itching and three on my leg have formed this red pancake so we go to the First Aid tent and they tell me to see a Doctor asap as it could cause blood poisoning! Yeesh! So we go home and go see Superman Returns in the Mann's Chinese. FUcking awesome!

Day 20:

We spend all day going to the hospital and gettting antibiotics that cost like $60 and kinda have a crappy last day. We realise theres no Planet Hollywood in Hollywood and the only celeb we saw was the blonde one who was in Beverly Hills 90210. We buy some souvenirs and go to Mel's Diner for a shake. Being me I buy Mallrats:10th Anniversary Edition and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang on DVD from Virgin (hey those versions aren't available in Scotland). We have dinner in the California Pizza place, I wasn't impressed.

Day 21:

We basically spend over 12 hours on two planes flying home and watch The Incredibles and King Kong. Now we are home and it sucks to be here!